There once was this doctor a lawyer a priest and a little boy and they were all in an airplane. Then all of a sudden the pilot announces that the plane has engine trouble so the pilot takes off with a parachute. Therefore, then there was only 3 parachutes left. The doctor says I save lives, I have to live so he takes his parachute then the lawyer says we are the smartest people in the world I must live so he goes. The priest tells the little boy, here son you take I am old and you have a life ahead of you so you take the parachute and the little boy said no it’s ok because the smartest man in the world just took off with my backpack.
– Unknown Author
A man sees a sign in front of a house “Talking Dog for Sale.” He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the back yard. The guy goes into the back yard and sees a mutt sitting there.
“You talk?” he asks.
“Yep,” the mutt replies.
“So, what’s your story?”
The mutt looks up and says, “Well, I discovered this gift pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, cause no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running.
“The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn’t getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded a batch of medals. Had a wife, a mess of puppies, and now I’m just retired.”
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog. The owner says “Ten dollars.”
The guy says he’ll buy him, but asks the owner, “This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him for $10?”
The owner replies, “He’s such a liar.”